Why do you cry when you're falling asleep?

Howdy!

Do you ever have those days when all you want is a warm shower? Those days when you've just had enough of being around people and you've been out in the cold and that's what you're looking forward to at the end of the day? You close the bathroom door, breathe a sigh of relief, and you're finally alone.  The water is running, you test the water, it's just the right temperature, so you hop in.

And it's cold.

Starving people in Africa, I should be grateful for a shower and all that, but I cried I was so sad.

My mind seems to be playing tricks on me lately, I feel like I'm going crazy. Why am I crying about cold water? Lying around and doing nothing all day isn't healthy for me.  I can't allow my mind to go numb.  There's not really much I can do though.  So I keep reading and watching How I Met Your Mother.

I didn't call Dad for Christmas, I didn't want to.  Can't really blame me for that.  I'll call him later. It's hard to be with one parent and call the other and have a civilized conversation.  

I'm looking forward to next semester.  It will be awesome, 2012, here I come.

Goodnight!

Tried To Reach Beyond the Emptiness, but Neither One Knew How

Howdy and Merry Christmas and Crap!


I'm sick and my boyfriend is ignoring me, so I figured I'd blog. Mom's got a new house, and it's in the process of being renovated.  This means a ton of dust is in the air and I'm slowly being suffocated in my sleep.

I feel like I should be in the Christmas spirit by now. Normally I get in the mood when I start buying people presents.  But now it just reminds me that I don't have a job to pay for these gifts, so I'm spending money that I really shouldn't.  At the same time I feel like I haven't spent enough money on people.  I just can't win.

I should probably call Dad for Christmas. "Hey Dad, how's life, merry Christmas, I failed Calculus, but it's okay, cause it's your money, will you send me money for a vacuum? Cause I really freaking want a vacuum okay!! I also need a coffee maker because I plan on working my butt off this semester like nobody's business."

Mom's friend Mark is the one who is working on the new house.  Which is a yay cause of discounts, but a hiss cause then you can't cuss him out if he breaks crap.  Oh well. She cares too much about what people think of her.  She feels the need to cite a billion people who have told her she's worth something.  To me this just communicates that she doesn't actually think that of herself yet, but look how everybody else thinks she's doing well!  Self confidence has never been a struggle for me.  I know I'm awesome,  I just don't apply myself.


My brother's are doofuses.

Goodnight.

I will stand by you forever, you can take my breath away...

Howdy again!


First off, my boyfriend is the most amazing person ever. Dead or alive. He's the best.

Secondly, I PMS really bad about absolutely stupid things.  I always look back on certain moments of my bitchy-ness and wonder what I was thinking.  I feel like I always pick a fight with someone when I'm on my period... my poor brothers were the victims most of the time. I should walk around wearing a sign "I'm sorry if I randomly chew you out, I'm not myself."  

First I'm like,

Then I'm like, 

And then everyone dies.

Lolz.

Tonight was really funny, glad I went to that party. Yay for having fun without being drunk! I suck at guitar hero. But hearing a room full of people screaming "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN WHOOAAAOOHHHHAAHHHOHHHOHHHH!!!"  is pretty dang hilarious.




Finals are coming up soon and then I'm done with my first semester of college! Weird... but I have a really good schedule next semester! I'm looking forward to everything in life in general. I just gotta calm down and breathe sometimes.


Somuchlove to everyone. Goodnight!